Many years ago, I started writing as a way to take my mind off stress or anything else that disturbed me. On days when I am saddest or annoyed or worried the most, I end up writing one of my best blog posts. However, these days I barely have time to take a moment and reflect on my day and write something useful. It’s not that I am the happiest person around town now but I think I have learned to deal with things that I don’t have much control over in a better way now.
I am currently reading a book about Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. Psychology and study of human behavior is something that I am always interested in. I love reading about it and discovering little things that we don’t normally observe or understand about human behavior. A crucial part of Social Intelligence is based on the premise that genes don’t decide our destiny. A huge chunk of our behavior has nothing to do with our genetic composition, instead it all depends on how we are nurtured. Starting from how a mother handles a child cry and calls for attention to how different people interact with a child throughout the years. It is astounding how the first couple years can play a crucial role in how a person behaves for the rest of their life.
As I read the book, I also tried to connect my behavioral qualities to how my childhood was. For instance, making fun of a child when they make mistakes, can make them believe that they are no longer suitable for that role all their life. Instead encouraging them to learn from mistakes and move forward can make them stronger.
We can’t go back and change our past but good news is that we can modify our behavior by understanding our shortcomings. Since this is not genetically driven, everything can be modified once we understand what we are missing. In my case, I was a shy kid all my life, I still am. But one thing that I dreaded the most was public speaking. Never in my wildest dream did I imagine speaking in front of public. But now, public speaking doesn’t scare me at all. A small part of my work involves me going out and giving technical talks, sometimes even to a global audience. But with enough preparation, I am no longer anxious about the thought of speaking in public. I am happy to do it and I do it well.
I guess, what I am trying to convey is that do not limit what you are capable of just because you were told you can’t do it or because you think you can’t do it. Nothing is impossible as long as you want it to happen.