How many times have you had a situation where you reacted baldy in a anger situation and later regretted it. Speaking about things that you should have never talked about, doing things to hurt the other person, back biting, harsh emails and what not.
Most of the times you do not mean anything that you did during that period of anger but somehow almost all the time, you end up hurting someone or the other. If not at that very moment, at least later.
It’s not just during an angry fight at home, it could also be during an irritating conversation at work or an email chain. Sometimes even the smallest things can trigger off that buried anger within you.
Very often the best thing to do during those situations is to cool it off. Do not say, write or do anything immediately after the conflict. If possible just walk away, go to the break room, long walk or just anywhere far away from the place that caused the anger. Come back and then respond after an hour or so.
What happens during that period you were away? Well, you just bought yourself sometime to think about the situation in a patient manner. Something that we all miss during a heated argument. Giving it some time, changes the way we react to it. It allows us to cool down, put things into perspective and then respond in the best possible manner often amicably.
I always have this weird compulsion to respond to emails immediately. On one such instance there was this work email from a person which annoyed me as I was already in pressure due to other deadlines. My instant reply was to lash out at that person saying how ridiculous their demand was but instead of hitting the send button, I just saved it to my drafts. I went to bed and replied to it the next morning by editing my draft to reflect my concerns in a positive way. Life was much better after that.
Reacting to your anger will only cause you to regret your actions later. It will hurt the person on the receiving end unnecessary and sometimes even hamper your relationship with them. Anger is inevitable but how you react during those angry moments defines you.