Being disappointed

We all have lots of expectations – from life, from people around us, from ourselves. But not everything happens as we expect which often leads to disappointment.

Being disappoint with yourself is one thing but being disappointed with those around us is another. I will discuss the latter today. Some people are not bothered when they don’t meet their own expectations but it hurts them a lot when someone close to them doesn’t meet it.

For example – a parent feels very disappointed at their child when they don’t grow up to be the kind of kid they expected him/her to be. It could be that the child is good at sports, academics, music or any other field but not in the area that the parent wanted the child to be.

It becomes complicated as you grow up. More so because expectations keep increasing with age.  As a child your parents might have expected you to do well in academics or sports but as you grow they may expect you to join a good college, take up engineering or medicine, have a stable job and so on.

Your friends will have a different kind of expectation – like helping them in their assignments, covering up for them at work, being there for them all the time.

Once you are in a relationship there is a bigger list that you need to satisfy and thereafter it never ends.

The problem with expectation is that there is no hard and fast rule as to how one should behave with the other. There is no agreement or contract, in most cases there is not even a verbal communication. Most people just assume their friends, kids, spouse to do certain things and start building their expectations.

Obviously when things are not communicated enough, there will be a lot that won’t get done which in the long term will lead to stress and perhaps rift in the relationship.

What do you do to overcome this? Well, I already gave out the answer. Key to any good relation is to communicate well – be it at home, with friends, at work or anywhere else. And the second most important thing is to not have any expectations at all from anyone.

When you start doing that – even the little things that people do when you don’t expect them seems big to you and you appreciate it. Instead when you expect something big and it doesn’t happen – it only results in disappointment.




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