I have known many people who hold grudges for their entire lifetime. No matter how long it has been, then don’t seem to move on. They keep holding on to old memories and can’t seem to forgive and forget.
I am one of those people who forgive easily. When I was young I came across a poem which describes how a person born on each day would be like. I don’t remember the poem anymore but I do remember one thing that it said – “Friday’s child is loving and forgiving”. I am born on a Friday and maybe I was always a forgiving person but after I read the poem, I made sure that I was a loving and forgiving person going forward. It was kind of a motivating factor for me.
If you think about it, forgiving is one of the easiest things to do. Although people often use forgive and forget together, it is important to know that both are completely different and both can happen independent of the other. You don’t have to forget after you forgive someone. If forgiving is easy, forgetting is tougher. It is something we don’t have much control on. We often forgive people for something that they did to us but we do end up remembering it all throughout our lives. Forgiving is important to achieve inner peace.
Have you ever deflected an apology? When we violate another human being, an apology or plea for forgiveness is essential to clean the wound and prevent relational infection. Apologies are serious stuff. When you apologize to someone, it should be heartfelt and real. And the same is applicable for forgiveness too. It has to be real also. You cannot forgive in order to avoid or quickly conclude an uncomfortable moment. The seeking and the granting of forgiveness are profoundly serious acts. They demand full attention and deep sense of reality.
Someone rightly said – “To forgive is to give up all hope for a better past”. Life is too short to get angry and hold a grudge. If you don’t forgive a person now then you might end up not getting a chance to make up to that person again for the rest of your life. Don’t wait for the right moment to forgive – the time will never come.